MESSY LITTLE Empire
Pinterest review · one off

The Pinterest Audit

This is £147, and it isn't the one where I build your Pinterest for you (that's the Traffic Engine, and it lives on the other page). This is for when you're already doing Pinterest, pinning in the cracks of your week but it's just not working and the maddening part is you can't tell why. If you want someone to glance at your pins and say "looks lovely, keep going", I'm not your person. I'll go through your whole account properly, tell you the honest truth about what's actually helping and what's quietly holding you back, and hand it back as a short, prioritised list of what to fix first, with the reason attached. Not thirty tabs of advice, but the next right move, in order.

£147one off, done for you

Payment plans available at checkout.

Comms is by message only, no need to ruin your week psyching yourself up for a call and pretending you can smile and make eye contact and listen to what I'm saying.

A Pinterest audit in progress

you're doing the work and it's still not landing

You're pinning, you're trying and Pinterest is still bringing you next to nobody, and no one will tell you why.

You've made the pins, you've had a go at the keywords. You've read the threads and watched the videos and done the thing, in the half-hours you could find and it still isn't working, and that's the bit that really gets under your skin. You refresh your analytics and they may as well be in another language. You can't tell if you're one small tweak away or if you're doing the whole thing wrong. So you either keep pinning into the void, quietly sure it's you, or you stop, because throwing more evenings at something you can't measure feels worse than not trying at all. You don't need more generic Pinterest advice. You need someone to actually look at your account and tell you the truth.

Meet the person behind Messy Little Empire

who's actually looking at your account

You're not sending your account off to a faceless brand. You're handing it to another neurospicy founder whose brain's wired like yours.

Here's the flip on the whole no face thing: when you're letting someone poke around your account and tell you what's wrong, you deserve to know exactly who that is, so, hi! I'm the person who built this because my own brain works in bursts and needs the why or it panics. I'm not a polished agency that'll send you a 50 page PDF you'll never read and I'm not going to bury you in jargon or hand you "normy" advice that assumes you'll "just be consistent". When I audit your Pinterest, you get my actual eyes and brain on it, and a report written the way I'd want to be told: honest, plain, and in an order you can genuinely act on.

Me: I'll work out why my Pinterest isn't landing.
Also me: it's month six, I've remade the pins three times, and I still couldn't tell you what's actually wrong.

Guessing isn't free. You're paying for it in remade pins and the "maybe this time" that never comes.

Every fix you try on a hunch is another evening spent, and no clearer on whether it was even the right thing.

The wasted effort.
Hours redoing pins and boards that were probably fine, while the real problem sits untouched.
The slow start.
Pinterest is slow to warm up anyway, so every month spent guessing is a month the clock isn't running.
The self-doubt.
The quiet "maybe I'm just not good at this", when really you've just never been shown what's actually off.

here's what actually happens

I go through your whole Pinterest and hand you the honest truth, in a list you can act on.

Instead of you squinting at analytics hoping for a clue, I take a proper look at the whole thing: your profile and settings, your boards, your pins, your keywords and how they all fit together and I find what's actually holding it back. Then I write it up plainly and, crucially, in priority order, so you're not staring at a list of forty things. You get the two or three that matter most first, with the reason attached, so you always know why you're doing a thing and not just that you should. It's not a build I keep, it's your account and everything is handed back to you with the fog lifted and a clear next move.

what you're actually getting

What I look at, and what lands in your hands

Concrete, not vague, because you deserve to know exactly what you're paying for.

Profile and SEO check

Whether your account is actually set up to be found, or just set up to look tidy. I check the bit most people skip.

Keyword audit

Whether you're using the words your right people are actually searching, or quietly talking to nobody.

Boards review

Structured and named around what people actually type, or arranged around what looked nice at the time.

Pins review

A proper look at your pin design, copy and keywords, and what's stopping them getting seen.

The honest diagnosis

What's genuinely working and worth keeping, and what's quietly sabotaging you, said plainly.

Your prioritised fix list

The specific things to change, in the order to do them, with the why attached, so you're never staring at a wall of thirty jobs.

The audit promise

If there's genuinely nothing worth improving, you get your money back and a note explaining why your foundations are already solid. I'm not going to invent problems to look busy.

How it works

1

Book it

Pay securely, it takes about two minutes.

2

Send me access

A short onboarding form lands straight after checkout, asking for access to your Pinterest and a quick note on what you sell and who you want to reach. Password sharing is done through the secure, encrypted 1Password site.

3

I audit it

I go through the whole account behind the scenes. No check-ins for you to manage, no calls, no live review to sit through.

4

You get your report

Within 5 working days of me receiving your completed onboarding form, you get a written audit and a prioritised fix list you can actually act on.

the no-calls thing, on purpose

No live call to sit through. You get it in writing, on your time.

Loads of audits come as a call where someone shares their screen and talks at you for an hour while you try to take notes and not freeze. If your brain's like mine, that's a low grade dread that taxes your energy before it even starts, and you retain about a third of it. So I don't do that. Your audit comes as a written report you can read at 11pm in your pyjamas, reread when you've got the energy for it, and actually refer back to while you're doing the fixes, instead of half-remembering a call you were too busy masking through to absorb. The thing a "normy" would charge extra for as a "strategy call" is the exact thing I've taken out, on purpose.

the honest bit

I won't promise the audit fixes your traffic overnight. Here's what I will promise.

An audit tells you what to change; it doesn't magically make Pinterest send you thousands of visitors by Friday, and anyone promising that is selling you something they can't deliver. Pinterest takes time to warm up even when everything's set up right, and I won't pretend otherwise. What I can promise is the part that's genuinely in my control: I'll go through your whole account honestly, against current best practice, and hand you a clear, prioritised list of exactly what to fix, with the reason for each, within 5 working days of getting access. What you're paying for is clarity, the end of guessing, and knowing your next moves are the right ones. The traffic follows the fixes, with time.

what clients say

Audited, and finally clear

“My account looked completely fine to me, which was exactly the problem. The audit found things quietly holding it back that I'd never have spotted, and told me exactly what to change.”

Grace

“I took Pinterest over from a VA and had no idea what was good or bad. It got me total clarity and a plain list of exactly what to change. Best money I've spent untangling someone else's mess.”

Marnie

“I'd built my own account and wanted a professional second opinion before pouring in more time. Turns out my keywords were lifted from a competitor in a totally different niche, something I'd never have caught myself, and I came away knowing exactly how to fix it.”

Yasmin

“What made me trust it was the promise to refund me if there was nothing to fix. There was plenty to fix, but that offer told me she wasn't just after my money. The report was worth far more than the price.”

Claire F.

“I expected vague waffle. Instead I got a clear, prioritised list of exactly what to change and why. A few days, done, and my account finally makes sense.”

Bethany

“I was about to pay for monthly management but did the audit first. So glad I did. It found the foundations were shaky and showed me exactly how to get them solid before a single pin went out.”

Robyn

Who this isn't for

If you want me to build your Pinterest for you, that's the Traffic Engine, not this. If you want a call, or you're hoping someone will tell you your account's perfect when it isn't, this isn't your thing, and I'd rather say so now. This is for handing your account over and getting the honest truth plus a clear list of what to fix.

Questions

How is this different from the Traffic Engine?

The Audit tells you exactly what to fix and hands you the list; you do the fixing. The Traffic Engine is where I build and set the whole thing up for you. Plenty of people start with the Audit, then upgrade to the Traffic Engine if they'd rather I just did it.

How much of my time does this take?

Almost none up front. You fill in one short onboarding form and give me access, and then it's mine to work through. The time you spend is later, doing the fixes, and the whole point is you'll know exactly which ones are worth it.

Do I have to be on a call?

Never. Your audit comes as a written report you can read and reread on your own time. No calls, no video, ever.

What if my Pinterest is tiny or brand new?

That's fine, I audit from wherever you are. If it's very new there's less to review, so I'll tell you honestly if you'd get more from building it properly first (the Traffic Engine) than from auditing an almost empty account.

What do you need from me?

Access to your Pinterest account, shared securely through 1Password, and a quick note on what you sell and who you're trying to reach. That's it.

How long until I get my report?

Within 5 working days of me receiving full access. It arrives in writing, ready to work through whenever your brain's up for it.

Get the Pinterest Audit for £147

The honest truth about your account, and a clear list of what to fix, delivered in writing. No calls, ever. Backed by the audit promise.

What I'll need from you

This is a one-off audit delivered as a written report. To do it accurately I'll need access to your Pinterest account (shared securely via 1Password) and a short note on what you sell and who you want to reach.

Get the Pinterest Audit

Tick all the boxes above to unlock checkout.

Delivered as a written report, no calls.

Payment plans available at checkout.